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Love at first sight?
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by:
Rion Williams
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Yes, men think so...or is it 'lust' at first
sight? How can a woman or man 'really' know?
If a woman thinks it is 'love at first sight', she may have found an
incredibly 'hot' guy who matches her ideal social persona 'catch'. If
this guy actually knows how to be a natural, all women will want him
and she will have to fight with others to 'keep him' (I can teach you
to be this man).
Otherwise most of them appear to be quite boring because they try to
impress her and don't 'get it'. But when dealing with 'love at first
sight', yes it might be, but then longer term dynamics start to sink in
and kind of spoil it.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, I mean, beholder.
'Love at first sight' is usually only perceptionally based if not in
its entirety. No one can match up ideally to one person's expectation
of who they are or who they should be. Once you find out more about
them, you're going to be disappointed in what you thought they were.
See how selfish we as people really are?!
Eventually you go through the hardships of a 'real' relationship and
very very rarely will everything work out perfectly where the people
are a real match (at least in our highly developed, opinionated,
individualistic cultural society).
You are only throwing your perception or ideals on who you think that
person is or should be (I have done this a lot in the past). We want a
person to be the ideal match to what WE think they should be. Most
often if not all the time, we find out they are not actually what we
idealized and then are a little disappointed. A real relationship is
going to take a lot of work and a lot more work than two 'simpler'
people.
If you can spark attraction shortly after you meet a woman, there is a
more realistic chance she will feel deeper emotions for you than her
social persona (of what states what she says she wants) and she will
often forgive your other misgivings as long as you understand natural
attraction.
This is actually very generous of her because now, guys (way) below her
level physically actually have a chance. The process of attraction is
slightly different for men and women.
Men will often instantly disqualify women for a sexual relationship
based on their looks (ahem), while women keep an open mind to see who
knows how to make them 'feel' the feelings that they respond to so
powerfully physiologically and emotionally. They are interested in a
mans character attributes because that are things that can be of
interest for the long haul.
These feelings have a biological root which she cannot choose or
control. This is why an average looking guy who 'get's it' can have
more of a chance than a good looking guy who easily proves himself
wrong to her right away.
She will resent that most of her counterparts do not 'get it' yet but
will be open to starting something with a man who finally can just
'lead her through' the natural process of attraction...then often sex
'just happened' or she got 'swept away'..this is the way it is supposed
to be and that she fantasizes about (and reads in those sappy romance
novels).
Don't be thrown off by what a woman says she wants if you are not that
social reflection of her consciousness yourself, she is programmed
biologically to react to men who are true naturals with her or who
display aspects of being a natural. Do not let that stop you. Her
biological inheritance (when in tandem with a true natural man) will
override ANY social programming she may have, as long as he maintains
true congruency and doesn't 'screw it up'.
If you are a natural you probably won't screw it up when you are
reaching that part of her (there is much more leniency here). If you
are 'walking on egg shells' by trying to be 'qualified' by her social
persona, it's virtually a guarantee you'll screw it up even with any
small move. Take the very ending of 'Boat Trip' where Roselyn Sanchez
says to the wussy Cuba Gooding, Jr. character, "Ok, but you BETTER not
screw it up."
Sure the movie ends with a kiss but who has the control here? Whose
reality is he in? Love at first sight, but he is based in the wrong
paradigm of 'being' that he WILL screw it up because of the power
dynamics and several other factors (she is in control by far).
In fact, you will almost put aside the entire notion of 'love at first
sight' because it's too romancey for you (although you may secretly
keep that dream alive); but you understand reality a little more, that
different relationships with different women are going to give you
different experiences.
Of course you may be aware of lust at first sight with women you see
most everywhere you go, but you really have to get to know her more to
find out who she is, otherwise it is all just perception.
If you can develop yourself to look as good as you can and get your
internal paradigm and life straight and clear, then you can naturally
accelerate the process of attracting women and starting things with
little effort. Your focus should really be on developing yourself and
living in a natural paradigm, while denying all of the perceptual B.S.
that is going on. Be an interesting and intriguing man and improve
yourself; HAVE something to offer women who are lucky enough.
Your 'love at first sight' from their point of view only happens if you
match their social ideal (and traditional ideal of Prince Charming) and
then know how to take everything from there...then all women will want
you. You do not have to be Prince Charming..that is another article,
but remember how you relate to her says everything. She needs to be
turned up like a volume knob and you have to interact with her to spark
the process of sexual attraction and her interest will grow in
you...through time, may lead to infatuation, love, great respect,
devotion, passion, etc. from her.
It is all in how you relate to her so don't pay too much attention to
having to have Brad Pitt looks, with Soros' bank account...that's the
same as you wanting to date a supermodel, except you probably have a
better chance than she does to meet your ideal because there are so few
men left who really get it and are a great catch in their own right
(with some nice social status to boot).
There are countless beautiful women. The advantage and favor is in YOUR
hands. There are few men left who are awesome catches AND who know how
to deal with these women. Make women want you just by being your true
self at all times; an interesting, funny, great guy and know how to
take it from there (I can help you there as well).
About the author:
Rion Williams offers a free newsletter subscription on how to have
'natural success with women' and dating.
You can sign up for the free newsletter just by visiting his website
'http://www.mensguidetowomen.com/E_player.htm'
You will receive some free bonuses as well and you can then read about
his 352 page unabridged
'Men's Guide to Women' instantly downloadable eBook. It will change the
way you think about dating and women forever.
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