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Warning Signs: Your Guy May be a Mr. Wrong instead
of Mr. Right
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by:
Cathi Adams
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1. He always make plans at the last minute.
He may have several rods on the fire. You might not be his favorite
rod. If nothing else comes along then you pop into his head. Some men
just like to keep their options open. They have several choices
available and don't want to make the wrong decision or commit to a date
too soon in the event that something better might come along. You have
to decide if this is something you can tolerate. If you are not that
into him either, it may work out perfectly for you (a girls gotta eat),
but if you are waiting by the phone this may be sign to move on. I
personally would not feel I was being treated respectfully in this
situation.I would feel I deserved to be treated better.
2. He's not taking an active role in becoming part of your world.
If a man is serious about you, he will usually make the effort to get
to know the people who are important to you. Whether it's your friends
or family, he will want it to be known that he is your man and he will
usually try hard to make a good impression. This is how some men mark
their territory. Hey, it doesn't hurt if everyone loves him and sings
his praises to you. If he doesn't care about that, he simply might not
care about you. If he does care about you, but doesn't want to be
involved in your world... well, that's a whole other story. You come to
your own conclusion, but if it were me... I'd rethink the relationship.
3. He doesn't go to events that are important to you.
Once in awhile if he has a good excuse or is ill or something...that's
ok. If you see a pattern, it may be time to trade up. Something that is
important to you should be equally important to him. If it is not, then
it might be a sign that either he is not that into you, he prefers his
friends to you, or he is simply too self-centered to stop for a minute
and please someone other then himself. If you've really hit the
jackpot, he may be a combination of all three. Either way, pay
attention to the signs and decide if you feel you are worthy of more.
4. He stays in close contact with his single friends.
If a guy does not part with his single friends, you can be fairly
certain he is not going to give up the single life either. Some guys
are just players: they have to keep their options open and have a
certain amount of emotional distance. Having single friends when you
are dating is the best of both worlds. He may continue to get close to
you, but his friends are never far behind. They attend events with you
and have permission to just drop by at their whim. You don't want your
guy to give up his friends, but it may be a sign of trouble if he
insists that you spend most of your time together hanging out with his
buddies.
If he is not a player, but just very social, make sure your needs are
met as well. Hanging out with the buds can be fun, but sometimes alone
time is also needed in a relationship. If the situation meets your
needs, then great. If not, then decide if this is something you can get
used to.
5. Night time is the right time... all the time.
If he loves the nightlife and the nightlife loves him even after you
have been dating for a while, this might just be his way of life. If
this is your way of life, then you have just met your soulmate. I wish
you well. However, historically when couples first start dating they
tend to go out a lot, stay out late, and dance the night away. Once you
settle in, though, and get closer in the relationship, the pendulum
swings to quite nights at home and romantic dinners. If this is where
you are hoping the pendulum would swing, then it may be a good time to
express your needs and see if he can meet them. Don't ask or expect him
to change if that is who he is and what makes him happy. Accept the
fact that you want different things. It may be time to send this one
back and explore the other "fishies in the sea".
6. You never see him more then once a week (ok... sometimes twice),
even after you have been dating several months
Is he super busy or are you play toy number 7? He might have one for
every day of the week, and you only can see him twice if numbers 1
through 6 are busy. Hey, it happens ... mostly because he has been
allowed to get away with it. Just don't be naive and think he is
sitting home 6 nights alone. If this is acceptable to you, then by all
means enjoy your time together when it happens. I guess you will
certainly never get sick of each other. If you need more see if he can
(or more importantly will) meet your needs. If not...get those shoes on
and start walking.
7. You only have his cell number after you have been dating each other
for a more then a month.
If it's been months and you haven't asked him about that...allow
me...he's either living with someone else or he doesn't want you
calling his house in case he has another woman over. The cell phone he
can turn off or set to vibrate... How perfect is that? When you are
into someone (and not dating other women too) you want her to feel free
totally comfortable calling you anytime. It shows commitment and
openness. If he is not showing these signs outwardly, it might be an
indication that you are dating a very busy man. If it feels like a duck
and quacks like a duck... yup, it's a duck. This little trick was used
on me, and I must say I didn't catch on for quite a while. I was too
naive...I'm all grown up now.
About the author:
© 2004-2005 Cathi Adams.
Cathi Adams is the author of "Divorce Secrets: What Every Women Should
Know." This invaluable resource provides steps to ensure financial
security to woman faced with the possibility of divorce.
Visit her web site for a FREE report -What You Absolutely Must Know
Before You Even THINK About Getting A Divorce: http://www.DivorceDefense.com
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